Five WRONG Reasons Why People Get Married

Single Life: Stories & Advice for Chic, Single Urbanites.

In sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, until death do uspart...

Marriage is supposedly a life-long commitment you make with your bethrotedto love and cherish for as long as as you both shall live. Supposedly? Yes,you read that correctly. Why supposedly? Although marriage is supposedlybased on love, people do get married for the wrong reasons.

Find out fiveWRONG reasons to get married.

1. AGE

When you have reached a certain age and are still single, you might findyourself looking around and seeing most of your friends are married.Suddenly the alarm bells go off and you start to panic. "Oh no... Why am Istill single? I better get married before I get too old." Some people maystart to feel old and thus willing to marry the first available partnerthat comes along.After reaching a certain age, some people lose their perspective onmarriage. They feel like time is against them -- a now-or-never feeling.Either they get married now, or they will be too old for another person towant to marry them.

2. LONELINESS

Just because you share your bed with someone, it does not mean that youwill not be lonely any longer. There are people who are alone but notlonely. Likewise, there are people who are surrounded by other people yetstill feel lonely. When you are lonely as a single person, you will belonely as a married person too. When you feel lonely, look inside yourself,what is it that is missing in your life, and then find it. Having a spousewon't fill the emptiness inside you.Some people do get married because they want to feel complete. Marriagewon't make you feel complete. You really need to feel complete before youget married. As human beings, we are created as a complete human being. Wedo not need someone or anything else to complete us. Remember, the vowsays, 'when two become one' -- not 'when half and half become one'.

3. TO HAVE CHILDREN

There are numerous people who get married just to have children. Childrenare very special to parents. Having children brings joy to the family.Yes... We all have heard those words many times before. But I was curiousas to why having children is so important that some people are actuallygetting married just for the sake of having children. I have conducted asmall survey about what are the main reasons people want to have children.Surprise... Surprise! The reason most people certain cultures want to havechildren is because they want someone to look after them when they are old.Well... Is that not a bit selfish? You want to bring a human being intothis already bitter and ruined world, just to take care of you when you areold? Do you realise that by bringing a new life into this world, you haveto be responsible for bringing them up, to take care and educate them. Whenyou think that by having children, you will have someone to look after youwhen you are old, well... you better take a good look around you. How manyelderly persons are now neglected by their children? If you are afraid ofbeing old and alone, rather than having children, is it not better to makea good retirement plan?Children also bring us another wrong reason, the whole 'my biological clockis ticking' factor. It is true that the older you get, especially women,the harder it is for you to conceive. But it does not mean that you shouldmarry the first available guy that comes along just for the sake of havingchildren.

4. MONEY

There is no secret that many people, both male and female, get married formoney. The reason they get married is because their spouse can provide themwith tangible things that they want. For some people, money can buyanything. It might seem like a nice life, being pampered and having moneyto buy everything that you want, but before money lures you to marriage,you better think carefully. Can money buy happiness? I know... I know... Itsounds like such a cliche, but think about it just for a while. Money canbuy a lot of things, but are you really going to spend your life withsomeone you don't even love just so you can buy things?The person you married for their money will be the last person you see atnight and the first person you see in the morning, the moment you open youreyes. Can you live with that? I mean, honestly. Is it worth it? Rememberthat money is something, but not everything. Money can buy you a lot ofthings, but it cannot buy you everything.

5. SOMEONE ELSE'S INFLUENCE

Other people can greatly influence people's decision to get married. Thatsomeone else can be anyone -- relatives, friends or the society you livein. Parents, especially in Asia, have a great amount of influence on theirchildren's marriage choices, and likewise, many people are quite keen tonake their parents happy. When you are old enough and still single, yourparents start to make comments about you getting married. It isunderstandable, as parents, they want only the best for their children. Itis better to talk and explain to them about your life. I am sure parentseverywhereprefer to have a happy single married son/daughter rather than amarried and miserable son/daughter.

Living in an eastern culture, most people still believe that marriage is amust. Family, friends and the society you are living in tend to makecomments about a person who has reached a certain age and is not yetmarried. People look and judge you as if there is something wrong with you.Believe me, there is nothing wrong with being single, regardless of yourage. Fear of being labelled an old maid or spinster, sometimes makes peoplelose their focus and get married even though it is not really what theywant.Marriage itself is not an easy thing. It takes commitment and hard work tomake a marriage work.

When you get married for the wrong reasons, it makesit harder for your marriage to work. Would you want to be married, but miserable or would you rather be a happy single?Do not let anyone or anything rush you into taking that very important stepin life.

Take it easy, do not always think about getting married, but justenjoy your single life to the fullest. When the time is right, you willfind Mr. or Miss right, get married and live happily ever after. [MS]

Tips Berani Gagal

Takut akan kegagalan seharusnya tidak menjadi alasan untuk tidak mencoba sesuatu.

Kepemimpinan adalah Anda sendiri dan apa yang Anda lakukan.

Frederick Smith, Pendiri Federal Express

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Kejujuran adalah batu penjuru dari segala kesuksesan,Pengakuan adalah motivasi terkuat.

Bahkan kritik dapat membangun rasa percaya diri saat"disisipkan" diantara pujian.

May Kay Ash, Pendiri Kosmetik Mary Kay

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Jika Anda dapat memimpikannya, Anda dapatmelakukannnya.

Ingatlah, semua ini diawali dengan seekor tikus,Tanpa inspirasi.... kita akan binasa.

Walt Disney, Pendiri Walt Disney Corporation

Sumber : Anonymous

Baca juga artikel motivasi lainnya hanya di :

http://www.beraniegagal.com

Don't Give Up.....

One day I decided to quit...I quit my job, my relationship, my spirituality... I wanted to quit my life.I went to the woods to have one last talk with God.
"God", I asked, "Can you give me one good reason not to quit?"His answer surprised me..."Look around", He said. "Do you see the fern and the bamboo?"

"Yes", I replied."When I planted the fern and the bamboo seeds, I took very good care of them.
I gave them light.
I gave them water.

The fern quickly grew from the earth.
Its brilliant green covered the floor.
Yet nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo.In the second year the Fern grew more vibrant and plentiful.And again, nothing came from the bamboo seed. But I did not quit on the bamboo. He said."In year three there was still nothing from the bamboo seed.

But I would not quit.In year four, again, there was nothing from the bamboo seed. I wouldnot quit." He said."Then in the fifth year a tiny sprout emerged from the earth. Comparedto the fern it was seemingly small and insignificant...But just 6months later the bamboo rose to over 100 feet tall.It had spent the five years growing roots. Those roots made it strong and gave it what it needed to survive.I would not give any of my creations a challenge it could not handle."He asked me. "Did you know, my child, that all this time you have been struggling, you have actually been growing roots".
"I would not quit on the bamboo.

I will never quit on you.""Don't compare yourself to others."
He said.
"The bamboo had adifferent Purpose than the fern.
Yet they both make the forest beautiful.""Your time will come", God said to me.
"You will rise high""How high should I rise?"

I asked."How high will the bamboo rise?" He asked in return."As high as it can?" I questioned."Yes." He said, "Give me glory by rising as high as you can."I left the forest and brought back this story.

I hope these words can help you see that God will never give up on you.Never, Never, Never Give upFor the Christian Prayer is not an option but an opportunity.

Don't tell the Lord how big the problem is,tell the problem how Great the Lord is!

THE THREE THINGS IN LIFE

AuthorUnknown

Three things in life that, once gone, never come back -
1. Time
2. Words
3. Opportunity

Three things in life that may never be lost -
1. Peace
2. Hope
3. Honesty

Three things in life that are most valuable -
1. Love
2. Self-confidence
3. Friends

Three things in life that are never certain -
1. Dreams
2. Success
3. Fortune

Three things in life that are most appreciated -
1. Generosity
2. Humor
3. Forgiveness

Three things that make a person -
1. Hard work
2. Sincerity
3. Commitment

Three things in life that can destroy a person -
1. Alcohol / Drugs
2. Pride
3. Anger

Three things that are truly constant -
Father - Son - Holy Ghost

BAD NEWS FOR YOUR COMFORT ZONE

Jika kita berbicara tentang zona nyaman atau comfort zone, maka kita berbicara tentang suatu wilayah yang subyektif dan individual. Wilayah itu, adalah sebuah wilayah di mana Anda merasa "nyaman" dan merasa "punya kendali".

Ketahuilah, bahwa itu semua sebenarnya adalah tipuan. Sebab, apa yang sesungguhnya Anda rasakan tanpa sadar, adalah "tidak nyaman" dan "tak punya kendali". Cobalah Anda renungkan lagi:Apakah yang Anda cita-citakan adanya di dalam zona nyaman Anda? Tidak. Ia ada di luar sana.Apakah yang Anda anggap sebagai kesuksesan Anda adanya di dalam zona nyaman itu? Tidak. Ia ada di luar sana. Apakah impian Anda adanya di dalam sana? Tidak juga. Impian Anda ada di luar zona nyaman Anda.Artinya, Anda belum hidup di dalam cita-cita, kesuksesan, dan impian Anda.

Apa yang perlu Anda lakukan adalah keluar dari zona nyaman. Agar Anda menemukan semua itu dan kemudian menjadikannya khasanah dari kenyamanan Anda. Anda, tidak punya pilihan kecuali memperluas zona nyaman Anda. Kecuali, jika Anda memang nggak mau sukses. Silahkan pilih.Bapak, Ibu, dan Saudara yang budiman, demi kesuksesan Anda, dengan sangat terpaksa Saya harus menyampaikan semua ini.

KABAR BURUK TENTANG ZONA NYAMAN

Zona nyaman tidak pernah statik. Ia selalu berkontraksi dan berekspansi.Jika Anda tidak secara sadar mengekspansinya, maka ia akan berkontraksi. Jika Anda diam, zona nyaman Anda akan menjepit Anda. (Misalnya: Anda mengalami situasi sebelum dan sesudah krismon, Anda evaluasilah sendiri.)

KABAR LEBIH BURUK TENTANG ZONA NYAMAN

Jika Anda tidak sedang hidup di dalam cita-cita, sukses, dan impian Anda, maka zona nyaman Anda punya kontrol yang lebih besar terhadap diri Anda, ketimbang Anda sendiri. Tidurlah di malam hari, dengan tidak mengunci semua pintu dan jendela Anda. Rasakanlah fenomena ilusi kontrol itu. Anda seperti punya kontrol dengan membangun tembok, pagar, kunci, dan gembok. Tapi sadarilah ilusinya. Sadarilah betapa kuat zona nyaman mengendalikan Anda.

KABAR TERBURUK TENTANG ZONA NYAMAN

Sadarilah bahwa dengan sifat ilusinya itu, zona nyaman Anda sebenarnya terdiri dari kumpulan "emosi yang tidak nyaman". Sebuah kumpulan perasaan yang tercipta, karena berbagai kesenjangan dari belum tercapainya impian, sukses, dan cita-cita Anda. Emosi yang tidak nyaman itu, lebih sering menciptakan F.E.A.R. (False Evidence Appearing Real) untuk Anda. Dan itu, membuat Anda tidak ingin bergerak kemana-mana alias lebih menyukai status quo.Pelajarilah semua rasa dan emosi tidak nyaman itu. Cintailah, agar Anda mampu berkorban untuk membaliknya menjadi kenyamanan.

KESIMPULAN

Untuk berbagai hal yang sifatnya fisik, Anda sangat menyukai keluasan dan privacy. Anda sangat ingin rumah yang besar, luas, dan tinggi. Anda juga ingin punya tanah di mana-mana. Kemudian, Anda sangat ingin memasang pagar, gembok, dan kunci, di setiap sudut keluasan Anda. Anda ingin batas wilayah Anda semakin meluas. Tahukah Anda, bahwa apa yang ingin Anda capai bukanlah fisiknya, melainkan rasa nyaman berkaitan dengan manifestasi fisik itu? Apa yang Anda inginkan adalah mentalitas dari keberadaan fisiknya. Dan keduanya, adalah satu kesatuan yang tak terpisahkan.

Bapak, Ibu, dan Saudara yang budiman. Jika Anda menginginkan mobil tambahan, maka Anda pasti sudi memperluas garasi Anda. Artinya, Anda memang menyediakan tempat untuk mobil itu.So, jika Anda menginginkan bertambahnya rasa nyaman, sudikah kiranya Anda juga memperluas garasi mental Anda, sehingga ia punya tempat juga? Saya Ingin Anda Sukses,Saya Harus Membuat Anda Sukses.

Ikhwan Sopa

Trainer E.D.A.N.