Five WRONG Reasons Why People Get Married

Single Life: Stories & Advice for Chic, Single Urbanites.

In sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, until death do uspart...

Marriage is supposedly a life-long commitment you make with your bethrotedto love and cherish for as long as as you both shall live. Supposedly? Yes,you read that correctly. Why supposedly? Although marriage is supposedlybased on love, people do get married for the wrong reasons.

Find out fiveWRONG reasons to get married.

1. AGE

When you have reached a certain age and are still single, you might findyourself looking around and seeing most of your friends are married.Suddenly the alarm bells go off and you start to panic. "Oh no... Why am Istill single? I better get married before I get too old." Some people maystart to feel old and thus willing to marry the first available partnerthat comes along.After reaching a certain age, some people lose their perspective onmarriage. They feel like time is against them -- a now-or-never feeling.Either they get married now, or they will be too old for another person towant to marry them.

2. LONELINESS

Just because you share your bed with someone, it does not mean that youwill not be lonely any longer. There are people who are alone but notlonely. Likewise, there are people who are surrounded by other people yetstill feel lonely. When you are lonely as a single person, you will belonely as a married person too. When you feel lonely, look inside yourself,what is it that is missing in your life, and then find it. Having a spousewon't fill the emptiness inside you.Some people do get married because they want to feel complete. Marriagewon't make you feel complete. You really need to feel complete before youget married. As human beings, we are created as a complete human being. Wedo not need someone or anything else to complete us. Remember, the vowsays, 'when two become one' -- not 'when half and half become one'.

3. TO HAVE CHILDREN

There are numerous people who get married just to have children. Childrenare very special to parents. Having children brings joy to the family.Yes... We all have heard those words many times before. But I was curiousas to why having children is so important that some people are actuallygetting married just for the sake of having children. I have conducted asmall survey about what are the main reasons people want to have children.Surprise... Surprise! The reason most people certain cultures want to havechildren is because they want someone to look after them when they are old.Well... Is that not a bit selfish? You want to bring a human being intothis already bitter and ruined world, just to take care of you when you areold? Do you realise that by bringing a new life into this world, you haveto be responsible for bringing them up, to take care and educate them. Whenyou think that by having children, you will have someone to look after youwhen you are old, well... you better take a good look around you. How manyelderly persons are now neglected by their children? If you are afraid ofbeing old and alone, rather than having children, is it not better to makea good retirement plan?Children also bring us another wrong reason, the whole 'my biological clockis ticking' factor. It is true that the older you get, especially women,the harder it is for you to conceive. But it does not mean that you shouldmarry the first available guy that comes along just for the sake of havingchildren.

4. MONEY

There is no secret that many people, both male and female, get married formoney. The reason they get married is because their spouse can provide themwith tangible things that they want. For some people, money can buyanything. It might seem like a nice life, being pampered and having moneyto buy everything that you want, but before money lures you to marriage,you better think carefully. Can money buy happiness? I know... I know... Itsounds like such a cliche, but think about it just for a while. Money canbuy a lot of things, but are you really going to spend your life withsomeone you don't even love just so you can buy things?The person you married for their money will be the last person you see atnight and the first person you see in the morning, the moment you open youreyes. Can you live with that? I mean, honestly. Is it worth it? Rememberthat money is something, but not everything. Money can buy you a lot ofthings, but it cannot buy you everything.

5. SOMEONE ELSE'S INFLUENCE

Other people can greatly influence people's decision to get married. Thatsomeone else can be anyone -- relatives, friends or the society you livein. Parents, especially in Asia, have a great amount of influence on theirchildren's marriage choices, and likewise, many people are quite keen tonake their parents happy. When you are old enough and still single, yourparents start to make comments about you getting married. It isunderstandable, as parents, they want only the best for their children. Itis better to talk and explain to them about your life. I am sure parentseverywhereprefer to have a happy single married son/daughter rather than amarried and miserable son/daughter.

Living in an eastern culture, most people still believe that marriage is amust. Family, friends and the society you are living in tend to makecomments about a person who has reached a certain age and is not yetmarried. People look and judge you as if there is something wrong with you.Believe me, there is nothing wrong with being single, regardless of yourage. Fear of being labelled an old maid or spinster, sometimes makes peoplelose their focus and get married even though it is not really what theywant.Marriage itself is not an easy thing. It takes commitment and hard work tomake a marriage work.

When you get married for the wrong reasons, it makesit harder for your marriage to work. Would you want to be married, but miserable or would you rather be a happy single?Do not let anyone or anything rush you into taking that very important stepin life.

Take it easy, do not always think about getting married, but justenjoy your single life to the fullest. When the time is right, you willfind Mr. or Miss right, get married and live happily ever after. [MS]

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